Own up

Alright you cheeky rascals.....who was it?
Thong my money's on you, but I wouldn't rule out Charvey, Kevin or Mel either.
Hang on.......maybe it was henno. It wasn't me cause I just spent my last mil on cosmetic surgery (one of the conditions of my marriage). What in GOD'S NAME am I talking about? This.

Importing luxury goods is obviously still a little tricky.......

"It was slapped with a 90% import tariff, 10% VAT, and 50% special consumption tax"

Ouch!
Only one more thing to say....bagsy shotgun! (I don't know how to say that in American but it means I called the front seat).

Doan Van Bo

This street is in D4. It strikes me everytime I ride past as one of the most impressive in the city. There are a number of reasons. Firstly, it is unusual in that this section of the road (the upper section which leads to the canal sperating D1 and D4) is quiet. Many roads are as wide but this one has very little traffic -- given it's location it is almost a cul-de-sac that the flow of bikes have forgotten or have little need for. The width of the road and the small amount of traffic make it seem, in HCM City terms, deserted. Add to this the buildings -- it's rare to see so many 4/5 storey buildings next to each other like this. I passed at the wrong time of day for the picture as the sun had gone down too much. In the afternoon, the sunlight glints off those windows creating an atmospheric Saigon street scene. For a better view of the picture try looking here.

All Sorts

Seems like I'm back to what I do best here. Talking s**t. As I mentioned before, a good blog adheres to the 'nobody cares what you had for lunch' doctrine, but today I'm throwing caution to the wind. I have no philosophical posers for this week, only the usual Saigon titbits. And if you're not interested in what I had for lunch yesterday, you better sod off, cause I'm gonna tell you anyway.

Firstly, the Raiders, captained by yours truly, won the 15th May School Soccer for the Streets tournament. Thanks henno for a good game in the group! We got a direct pass into the final through being the team with the best record from 5 groups. Granted there was a team of girls in pajamas participating, but the knockout stages were competitive and we beat a fairly decent team from 'Coke' in the final. It was safe at 3-1 especially after our sole Vietnamese player Vu poleaxed their best player with a fair but slightly mental challenge. Pics from the event later, for now, only this one.

Other news. I've found Vietnam's narrowest house. They must be a family of wafers, or someone's put it up for a laugh. Or it really is a by-product of population density in the city.

Well, at least they have a roof terrace.

Now, HERE'S WHAT I HAD FOR LUNCH......forget a traditional sunday lunch of roast potatoes, chicken, peas, carrots and stuffing -- here's how we do, Vietnam style. All lovingly prepared by my new wife, let me take you through this nap-inducing belly bloater of a hot day's feastathon.

Pork on a stick:

Veggie cooked in Garlic

Also included -- fillets of mackeral cooked with fish sauce and garlic and pork soup with more veggies. Add steamed rice.

Finish it off with a sweet lotus bean soup and what do you have -- a sense of satisfaction mixed in with a drowsiness the likes of which only a supportive fan-cooled matress can cure.

Are you hard-headed?

A recent magazine article combined with comments from a friend prompted an internal debate. Why don’t I wear a helmet? I remember, as a kid on my paper round, my parents forced me to take a huge plastic mushroom as protection. Too embarrassed to wear it, at the first opportunity I’d stuff it in the bag with the papers. As I grew older, wearing a helmet didn’t become any more appealing. Now, ten years on, I’m still shunning a simple item which could save my life. But why? It doesn’t look cool -- am I that vain? Is it uncomfortable – not if I get one that fits properly. Is it too hot to wear one? These reasons, which are common excuses for not wearing a helmet, disintegrate when you imagine the consequences of a traffic accident.

The fact that people aren’t responsible enough for their own safety is evident all across the world, and easily proven right here in Vietnam. Westerners often apply their seemingly higher moral standards when judging the Vietnamese – ‘Well, our countries have laws about this kind of thing’. That may be so – England is the nanny state, and for a reason. If we didn’t have those laws the people would be just as irresponsible about their safety, as proven when foreigners come here and find out they don’t have to wear a helmet, so they don’t. Another important factor here, and the main difference between the west and developing countries is this: laws needs to be enforced. Here, unfortunately, laws are not routinely enforced, and when they are, it’s not for the right reasons. Even though there may be penalties that accompany the law, they can be hurdled with a crisp pink note. If you don’t want to play that game, you’ll be tied up with red tape and sent to bureaucratic hell and you’ll wish you’d just kept your mouth shut and next time, remember to do what the Romans do in Rome. There is only one place your moral crusade will end up here – in a pit of burning resentment.

So, we should talk to people on a personal level, educate, convince and set an example.

These figures are a study of brain injuries from Viet Duc hospital in Ha Noi over a period 16 months (3/2003 – 7/2004).

Total brain injury cases selected: 1,127
Brain injuries due to road accidents: 859 (76.2%)
Brain injury cases without helmets: 728 (93.1%)
Brain injury cases with helmets: 54 (6.9%)

The following were taken from the same hospital in Ha Noi over 2 months early this year.

Hospitalized cases due to injuries: 5,517
Victims in road accidents: 2,805 (60% of people hospitalized due to an RTA)
Of these 2,805 people, 1,262 (45%) had face & head injuries.

Out of these 2,805 people, 2,632 or 93.85% were not wearing a helmet. Only 25 people or 2% hospitalized with a brain injury were wearing a helmet.

These figures were provided by Mr Dong at UNICEF Vietnam, who responded in length after I found this page about World Health Day 2004 in Ha Noi. The page lists a number of factors explaining the high incidence of child fatalities in traffic accidents, including a ‘limited knowledge about safe driving behaviour’ and a ‘fatalistic view about traffic accidents. Many people do not understand that these injuries are preventable’. UNICEF Vietnam then go on to list a number of potential solutions including organizing children’s competitions on road safety and ‘assisting the commune to provide “child safe playgrounds” where children can play safely away from the traffic’. Mr Dong also pointed me in the direction of Asia Injury Prevention Foundation, an NGO based in Ha Noi who’s mission statement reads:

‘Asia Injury's mission is to reduce the rising number of traffic fatalities in developing Asian countries, starting in Vietnam, and to raise awareness of their social, economic, and human impact'.

They go on to say:

'In Vietnam, nearly 40 people die each day in traffic accidents and twice that number suffer debilitating head injury. This is a result of rapid motorization and modernization, where people have the ability to trade bicycles for motorbikes, creating a highly mobile population. Unfortunately, preventative safety measures have not accompanied this increased motorization. Limited traffic safety education, lack of awareness about the effectiveness of helmet use, and inconsistent traffic legislation and enforcement have contributed to annual death tolls of over 12,000 people in Vietnam. In addition, approximately 30,000 more suffer from severe brain damage or head trauma sustained in traffic accidents'.

I wrote to Grieg Craft, the president of AIPF, and he kindly wrote back inviting me on a tour of their helmet factory. He said "Yes, we have set up the world's first non profit helmet plant, producing a 'tropical' helmet we've designed. All revenues flow back to Asia Injury to help fund our other work. We employ 150 workers, 1/3 of whom are handicapped. We're very proud of the model".

There is also the World Health Organization Helmet Initiative ,which has a more global focus, but as AIPF points out, of the 1.2 million killed each year in RTAs, developing countries account for 85%.

So from now on my wife and I are wearing helmets, and I hope you at least think about it too.

Hoi An

Here's a collection of nice shots from a recent trip to Hoi An. The courtyard below is nice.

Here's a jug and a sign. Maybe not the best place for said sign.

Here are some mini hot air ballons. Them seem to be quite popular in Hoi An.

Marble mountain is a 20 minute motorbike drive from Hoi An on the road to Da Nang. It has a lot of marble shops around the bottom where Saigon hotels undoubtedly buy their rearing lions for the lobby. More importantly, it has a temple complex enshrined with trees and inside caves which is well worth exploring.

In this picture, the smoke from burning incense creates a surreal scene.

Here you can see the other half placing her insence sticks in front of an impressive Buddha statue.

Heading back to Hoi An, a trip on the river reveals local boat taxis are small but frequent, this being a common site.

Upon arrival in Hoi An expectations were high, what with the UNESCO world heritage blah, and guide books petrified of bad-mouthing the place. However, during our first stroll through the old town, my partner turned and quipped with an eyebrow raise that I would have been proud of, 'This is like Pham Ngu Lao' (PNL is the backpacker nest of Saigon). Well, I couldn't disagree. The old houses were beautiful, until they opened up the front and turned them into DVD shops. The town caters for tourists in a mind boggling capacity -- huge groups of big nosed European tourists (I can say that because I am one myself) speaking a language I couldn't put a finger on (possibly Greek) kind of ruined the atmosphere. I can't begin to imagine what this little place would have looked like before the onslaught began. Fear not though, slowly but surely we were won over, as we became normalised to the tourist pollution and took a stroll down the riverside in the evening eventually stopping at one of the many outdoor cafes for a glass of wine. Very peaceful and relaxing. However, it was easy to spot the mid-morning timewasters in the cafes, lounging around as if they were Parisian artists during WW2. Hoi An though is pretty....

Getting Married Vietnam Style - The Final Part!

I have just read an article about blogging, the title of which was 'Nobody cares what you had for lunch', so bearing that in mind, I'll make this the final part of the Getting Married series. I've added a link in the catagories section to direct FW virgins to all 6 glorious episodes.

So, we leave the house and still the paparazzi wouldn't leave us alone.

We drive to the Majestic Hotel, where we check into our complementary, windowless room secreted in the arse of the hotel, next to the staircase that leads to the health club. Call down the parents to join us in guzzling a bottle of champagne, and then head up to the restaurant in time for 6.00.

We stand by the doors and welcome the guests as they arrive.

Now it's time for a caption competition: Am I thinking 1) 'Who are these people?!' or 2) 'That looks like about 200,000 in that envelope, ok, you can come in.'

Here we try and copy our wedding picture. Not too bad, although my head is way off.

So I'm bouncing around the room when Chi says me - "Come on, the ceremony's about to start". I'm like - 'huh?'. I put down my 12th ice cold glass of Tiger on the nearest table just as I get yanked by the wrist and the lights go out -- a lady's voice announces us and to my horror, on comes the intro to 'Eye of the Tiger'. Duh k duk k duk k duk k DUK, DUK DUK DUK, DUK DUK DUK, DUK DUK DEEERRRRRR........immediately I motion to the guy at the CD player that I will hang him if he doesn't cut the music. Much amuesment, especially it seemed at the table where my family were sat. Funny that. Anyway, the M.C's proceeded with a diatribe that would have made Cupid himself snap his arrows and clip his wings, whilst I did my best to ignore them and look cool on the stage. Then, we toast.

And then, we get smoked out by the dry ice. So romantic!

I hope you got the general idea, plenty more pics of the 150 guests who eventually turned out, but they slot into the 'Nobody cares what you had for lunch' category as easily as a warm knife slides through flesh...no, sorry,.....I mean butter.

Today is my new wifes birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY! Here is a picture of you doing what you do best, smiling!

Getting Married Vietnam Style Part X

The hired transport left the Majestic Hotel at around 3.10pm with me, the groom, slamming the dashboard and screaming obscenities at the driver. I climbed into the car. The guy looked at me and said innocently 'di dau anh?'. Two things to do. 1) Arrive at the hotel on time. 2) Actually know where they are supposed to be going. They got 25% right.

The car brought me and my parents to the alley that leads to Chi's house, my helpers for the day followed up in a wagon behind. Traditionally, the groom brings eight trays laden with gifts for the brides family. Here's me and my guys lining up in the correct order - my parents first, then me, then the rest. The trays also had to arrive at the house in a certain order, so the most important two went to my brother and sister, stood behind me.

The procession got going once a delegation from the bride's house had straightened our lapels. Does this look like a sight that would halt half of Binh Thanh district in its tracks, cause it did.

Next we turn the corner and are greeted by Chi's helpers for the day -- here my sister and friends arriving.

Inside the arrangements are simple. I stand in the corner. My parents sit at the table with her parents. My boys line the wall sat on plastic stalls. The other half of the room is taken up with Chi's relatives and friends. All in all around 30 people in a very small room on a hot day -- number of fans avaliable : 1. Everybody is ready, and Chi comes from upstairs to join me. First I present her with the manly bouquet I had carried across town.

Next the trays were uncovered to reveal their sumptuous contents -- fruit, wine, cake, more cake and some cakes.

Next, if memory serves correctly, we handed out symbolic cups of wine to the folks. My memory is only hazy due to heat exhaustion. It was the hottest wedding ceremony on record. 30 people in a brightly lit room in the middle of the day in Vietnam with no aircon -- not a good idea -- and of course there's nothing like being the center of attention to add an extra bead of sweat to your brow. I was continually being handed small paper tissues to stem the flow, but even a 5 star bath towel would've struggled with that job.

Next, the rings went on

And then the old man was called on to make a speech. Fully unprepared, he did a good job, despite the cause of my amusement in this picture, heckling from my brother.

So that's about it. Here's what it looked like from above.

And here's my boys tucking into the wedding cake -- from right to left -- Bernard and Richard from the Raiders, Gabe who is a teaching colleague, my brother Jamie, my old school friend and best mate who somehow managed to make it to Vietnam James, and finally captain of the Raiders Pierre.

Cheers boys!

Part 6 & 7 to follow this week.